Be Strong Mighty Warrior
Location: Waynesville, MO |
Camera: Canon EOS 5D Mark IV • Lens: Sigma Art 35 mm • F-Stop: 2.8 • Shutter: 1/400
Color Corrected in Lightroom with Jbalough Presets
I have been photographing for a little over 10 years, right here in the heart of Missouri. I have seen Photographer's come here, break ground and slowly fade away. When I first heard of Brea McPherson, I saw her Photography ads all over my Facebook page. The first thoughts that went through my head were, "Who is this lady?! Where did she come from? When did she get here?" and "Holy cow, this chick is making a name for herself." It was pretty obvious that Brea wasn't just another hobbyist. She took this small town by storm.
This Washington State Native was capturing the hearts of everyone that met her and in just a year, she was one of the fastest growing studios I had ever seen. Brea was booking left and right and had only used a camera for a short period of time before her business blew up. She was getting her GirlBoss hustle on and I had to see what she was all about.
Later on, I found out it wasn't the skill, her pricing or even some secret marketing scheme that grew Brea's business like a wild fire... it was her heart.
I had been watching Brea's work transform over the last few months. She was taking on studio work, outdoor work and capturing beautiful memories for our local families by focusing on newborns and "grow with me" packages. That's when I saw it. The resignation post. In what felt like no time at all, she was leaving the business world. I knew she was pregnant, but I had never personally met Brea or knew anything about her story. I didn't even know who she was as a person and I was in shock that this post was sitting there.
"What? WHY?" I thought to myself. She was doing so great. I quickly followed the link labeled "Team Kent". I read the words no Mother ever wants to hear. Every piece of my body resonated with this stranger. This person, that I had never met, became a reality. An eye opening, gut wrenching reality and my chest felt like it was going to explode. I had this sudden pull to contact a total stranger and reach out to her. I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone, that there were other people in our community that care, other Photographer's that care.
Brea was hanging up her camera to take care of her Family, so I wanted to do something special just for them. I introduced myself and asked her if she had booked her Maternity session. When I messaged Brea, I explained to her that I understood we were strangers, but that after having an extremely trying pregnancy with my own daughter, I knew the importance of maternity photos. I offered her a collaboration opportunity. This is when I quickly learned of Brea's situation. Brea had this beautiful session planned out in Washington state, but the Doctors quickly deemed her high risk and unable to fly. There went her dream session. Canceled before the details were even finished.
As Photographer's, most of us like to pride ourselves in being able to relate to our client's when we haven't been anywhere in their shoes.
Although I have a healthy baby girl, I had a whole new perspective on the maternity world in general after her birth. I felt like going through those milestones myself, made it to where I could relate to my client's better and finally see what even mattered. I could see the bigger picture. I struggled through my entire pregnancy: so much pain, depression and one emergency room visit after the other. That's a story for another time, but basically, when it finally came to my maternity photos, I needed them to matter. I needed them to be perfect and to reflect all the love, pain and hard work that went in to growing this unique, stubborn and beautiful child.
I needed Brea's photos to matter. I knew they would matter to her and her family, but I needed them to be able to tell Kent's story.
You see, Baby Kent is a special little warrior. He has what is known as a Congenital Heart Defect (or CHD). Kent has Double Inlet Left Ventricle. In the simplest of terms, he has half a heart. His right ventricle isn't functioning. His left is doing double work. Kent will have a very rough battle throughout his life. DILV is rare. He will need surgery when he’s around 1 month, again at 4-5 months and 3 years of age with help in between.
He can experience heart failure at anytime and require a heart transplant. He will always have one ventricle, the surgeries are just meant to help ease the work that the one ventricle has to do. Those words are pretty jarring for a Mother to hear. Brea and I messaged back and forth for weeks trying to find the perfect location. Originally she wanted fall colors, leaves, everything. I hadn't reached her in time and Missouri had done what it does best and turned on us. The leaves were brown and quickly blanketing the dead grass.
After several days of the both of us driving around like crazy women, frantically searching for an ounce of fall color, I noticed a post that Brea had made about her mini sessions. She was gearing up for Christmas minis at the cutest tree farm I have ever seen and never knew existed. That's right! How have I lived here my whole life and never heard of this place?
I dropped the idea to Brea: "Christmas Trees grow in Washington... those are the only things that are green right now... What if we did a winter, mountain vibe? Yes, I agree, we will leave the mistletoe at home."
His name: excerpt from the Team Kent Facebook page -This is Brad writing. Nerd alert.
We love the super hero theme for naming our kids. “Parker Wayne” being our first and now “Kent”, being born in a few months. As we learn more about Kent’s condition we have grown more and more to love the name Kent. In Superman, Man of Steel, when Clark Kent first arrived to earth he would struggle to breathe, but with his parents continuous support, faith, and confidence in him, it allowed him to adapt. Now, Kent’s not going to be Superman, but he will have to work harder than most just to survive. My biggest fear before he is even born is that his heart condition will hold him back. I hope he feels strong and confident enough to do whatever he wants in life.
"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me." -- Jim Valvano"
What are the emotions you and your family work through on a regular basis?
"We are excited 98% of the time. But the reality can creep in and the fear can be overwhelming. It’s scary just to go from 1 kid to 2. It’s 100 x worse when that second kiddo is going to be spending A LOT of time in the hospital. We have to divide our time between our first born who is used to having 100% of us and then our sweet newborn who really needs all of us we can give."
What first went through your head as soon as you heard the news?
"We honestly didn’t really fully understand how bad it was until about a month after. In the room with us, there was the cardiologist, the nurse coordinator and a social worker. They were literally all there to support us and be as gentle as possible. They wrote down everything they said, because they knew we wouldn’t “hear it.” We cried, yes, but we had no idea what was beginning. Even though we read everything possible daily, we weren’t fully digesting the magnitude of what Kent’s heart meant for his first few years of life. Initially, we were told he had a hole in his heart. Every thing you read tells you holes can heal on their own. So we had settled that his would heal even before he was born. After we had our first echo-cardiogram we realized it was so much more complex than that. Our Cardiologist explained to us that most heart surgeries they perform are simple, kind of like just fixing a hernia. While Kent’s was extremely complex - severe."
How are you coping with that now and what would you tell another Momma that's also in the same situation?
"I think day to day it’s so different. I’ll be driving in the car and just have an absolute meltdown. But a majority of the time, I get excited when people want to talk about Kent. CHD is the most common birth defect, at 1 out of 100 babies being effected, and I had never given it a second thought before our diagnoses. I did everything right. I didn’t smoke or drink. I was in perfect health. I took my prenatal's before I was even pregnant. This was in no way my fault, yet I experience guilt daily."
"To a new mama with any kind of defect with their baby, find support groups. Let people help you. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to not cry at all. You are allowed to grieve in whatever way works for you. Take care of yourself, because your baby is going to need you."
Any words of encouragement?
"The bad days will pass. You get to have a baby. That is a blessing. Remind yourself of that daily."
Any words for the people who aren't in the situation and don't know what to say or do to support families like yours? What would you tell them?
"We want to talk about it. Ask us about our baby, how he’s doing. Don’t ever be afraid that it’ll be awkward. We are honestly waiting for you to ask. Offer to take our healthy kids to the park - they get lost in this mess and need extra attention. Do not be offended if we tell you we don’t want you to come over. Germ watch is on overload. We may not leave our house for the first few months. That’s okay. Don’t judge us. We have a child who literally could die from catching a cold. If we want to get out, we will. Offer to bring by coffee, sometimes even the Keurig is too much work."
From planning Brea's session to getting ready, shooting and answering questions, I have been so taken aback by how positive one person can be throughout this entire process. This is a hard road and I have seen nothing but smiles on Brad and Brea's faces. They are so excited to meet their little boy. These are the words that no parent ever wants to hear, but even in the depths of struggle and confusion, there is so much grace and kindness flowing within this family.
I know that it couldn't be possible without the endless amount of support being sent from all over the world to the McPherson Family <3 So here is a shoutout to all of Brea's Client's, Fan's, Family and Friends. You have made quite a wave of support and you all seriously rock for it!!
"While I am upbeat and excited to talk about Kent’s story 98% of the time, there are moments where I feel broken. And every.single.day since we heard those words that changed our life, someone has done something positive in honor of Kent. I’ve received countless, thoughtful gifts - not just for Kent, but for me, for Brad, and for Parker. In a time where it’d be really easy to feel alone, you all have not, for one second, let that happen."
"Be Strong Mighty Warrior" - I encourage you to follow the McPherson Family and their story here. This entire session wouldn't be possible without the amazing people behind it. Please feel free to click the names of all the vendors below and give them a "like".
Hair and Makeup: Tiffany Garner of Tiffany G, Hair and Makeup (Located at The New You Salon)
Dress: Sew Trendy Accessories
Location: Cole's Tree Farm in Lebanon, MO
I am thankful to the McPherson Family for letting me, a complete stranger, get so close to such a personal aspect of their lives. Their strength, grace and willingness to press on is such a huge inspiration to me and everyone around them.
They truly are a Warrior Family.
